The screenplay, by John Bryan (his only writing credit as far as I know – his usual metier was as producer or production designer) and Lesley Storm, is a static affair which lurches into contrived melodrama in the last half an hour. After helming feature films during the 50s and early 60s, he worked exclusively in television up till the mid-80s, seeing out his career helming episodes of ‘Falcon Crest’ and ‘Murder, She Wrote’. His only other film of any note is the minor WWII melodrama ‘Appointment in London’, also starring Bogarde. That ‘TSG’ is the film Philip Leacock is best remembered for says it all. For now, let’s examine ‘The Spanish Gardener’ as an exercise in how to make a nothing film:Įmploy a journeyman director. There are only two things worth mentioning, and I’ll leave those till last just so I can close on a remotely positive note. To put it mildly, ‘The Spanish Gardener’ is a nothing film. It’s been tempting to use other titles – to play on words or quote an apposite bit of dialogue (tomorrow’s review of ‘Victim’ could easily go under the banner “Because I wanted him!” when I get to ‘The Servant’, the immortal line “I’m a gentleman’s gentleman – and you’re no bloody gentleman” cries out to be used) – but in the case of ‘The Spanish Gardener’ there’s simply nothing else to call this article. You might have noticed that I title entries after the film I’m discussing.

The Spanish Gardener by A.J. Cronin